Willpower fails at changing who you are because your self-image is built by repetition, and willpower can’t repeat anything hundreds of times a day. Research shows that changing your surroundings works better.
Willpower is great for single tasks. It can get you to finish the report, skip the dessert or make the call. It is very bad at the project people most often use it for: becoming a different kind of person. You cannot force yourself to feel worthy.
What works better than willpower
What research favors instead is arranging your world so the right thing happens without a fight. Wendy Wood’s work on habits finds that about forty percent of daily behavior repeats in the same settings, driven by cues rather than decisions. Angela Duckworth and colleagues have shown that changing your situation works better than resisting temptation in the moment. Many people who seem disciplined have simply arranged their surroundings so the right choice is the easy one. Read more about how your environment affects you.
How to change your self-image
Changing who you are works the same way. Your self-image doesn’t change because you argue with it. It changes through what you see and hear over and over. So the useful question is not “How hard can I push?” but “What does my day repeat to me?” For most people, the answer is notifications, news and the same old worries.
Changing what your screen shows you takes one small effort, and it pays off every day after. That is the kind of task willpower is good at. Write your phrases once in SOMOTE, and your screen will repeat them to you all day.